Zuckerberg's announcement that Chan is now pregnant with a baby girl prompted
thousands of congratulatory Facebook (FB, Tech30) messages
on Friday, and some of them were extraordinarily personal, with women's stories
of other miscarriages and the silence that often accompanies heartbreaking loss.
"My husband and I are going through
the same thing," a user named Bethany wrote. "We just had a
miscarriage in May...so it's nice to know I'm not alone."
A user named
Jennifer wrote of her miscarriages, "The pain is so intense and the sense
of grief is real. Thank you for letting other couples know that they are not
alone."
The Facebook
founder and CEO posted a picture and short essay to his personal Facebook page
on Friday afternoon. He has 25 million followers, so the news spread very
quickly.
"Most people don't discuss
miscarriages because you worry your problems will distance you or reflect upon
you -- as if you're defective or did something to cause this. So you struggle
on your own," he wrote.
But then he struck
an optimistic note: "In today's open and connected world, discussing these
issues doesn't distance us; it brings us together. It creates understanding and
tolerance, and it gives us hope."
It seemed that
many of his followers connected with that idea right away.
The American
Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, a nonprofit group, immediately
tweeted its congratulations and said it was great to see Zuckerberg and Chan
"raising awareness about how many people are affected by
miscarriage."
CNN correspondent Kyra Phillips, whose
book "The Whole Life Fertility Plan" came out earlier this year, said
on "CNN Newsroom" that Zuckerberg and Chan's news will assure other
families that "it's not just me; other people are dealing with this."
Too often, she
said, "There's a stigma. Women feel ashamed. Men feel ashamed. They don't
want to talk about it. They think something's wrong with them."
These emotions
were evident in the ever-expanding comments thread below Zuckerberg's essay on
Friday. While Facebook includes commenters' real names, many users perceive the
site to be a quasi-private space to share personal experiences and stories.
(For that reason, we're only including the first names of the users quoted
here.)
"Hand
raised," Stephanie wrote, describing how fertility issues affect many
families.
"It is
lonely," Michelle wrote, agreeing with Zuckerberg's description. "We
had a miscarriage and then were unable to conceive for two more years. Now we
are blessed with three kids."
Yul added her
thanks to Zuckerberg and Chan for sharing something that's ordinarily very
private: "My wife and I went through a similar experience, and didn't
realize how many of our friends had gone through the same thing until we
finally started talking openly about it."
RESOLVE: The
National Infertility Association also used Zuckerberg's invention to share the
news on Friday and thank the family for raising awareness.
"You are not
alone!" the group wrote. "And congratulations on the exciting
news!"
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